I don’t know how your week has gone, but mine has been pretty crappy. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for what I have. I am not complaining about not having, I just wish I had a little less stress this week. I know for me, I find myself in weeks like this not only being stressed out (which is not part of my usual character), but I find myself beating myself up because I am either taking it out on myself or someone else. When you have six kids, like my wife and I do, there is always a high chance for stress and there is always someone who you can blow up on (if you want to). I guess that is my big dilemma. Between the size of my family, the unique situations that come with having adopted kids, the type of job I have, the size (or lack of size at times) of our income and the size of our budget it can become pretty overwhelming. For a long time, I was a worrier. I worried about everything, I worried to the point that I would lose my appetite, and then I worried because I wasn’t eating. Over time I found myself maturing not only physically, but also in my faith and I started to worry less and trust more.
In Matthew 14, we see the story of Jesus walking on the water in the middle of a lake. At some point, Peter builds up enough faith to get out of the boat and walk on the water. As Peter walks farther and farther away from the boat he begins to focus on the waves in the lake and less on his faith that got him out of the boat. The result is his focus on Christ shrinks and he begins to sink (now I sound like a Southern Baptist preacher...shrinks- sinks…Never mind).
I am being reminded this morning that my focus over the last couple of years has been to have the faith to step out of my/the boat. Over the past couple of years I have done that more and more. My problem is I am currently too focused on the distance of/from the “boat” and not the destination, focus on Christ (more Southern Baptist…distance not destination…sorry).
I think I am writing this for a couple of reasons. First, if you are like me and you find yourself worrying, ask yourself, “I am in the boat?” or “on the lake?” Take a hard look at not only where you are standing, but more importantly what are you focused on. Second, I am asking that you pray for me. I believe prayer works and is effective in all kinds of situations and to be real honest, I am not sure I can effectively pray for myself because I keep looking at the waves on the lake.